Euphemistically Speaking

While sitting at my local Starbucks on a recent Sunday morning, I was struck by the articles in the Business section of The New York Times regarding the current state of economic affairs. Though the word “recession” is still the most prominent of them, I have learned in the past weeks several synonyms for where we find ourselves (and this is without exploring any political ramifications from either side of the proverbial aisle separating Democrats and Republicans).

Though some have ventured to toss out the “D” word (“depression,” of course), other terms are “correction” (I am not sure this is about the way down or the way back up), “crisis” (usually preceded by the word “credit”) or “distress” (I try to imagine a hotel owner in a state of emotional panic, but I do not know or know of any hotel owner who is approaching the state of the industry with anything other than clear-eyed objectivity). Interestingly, I do not think I have seen the word “panic” actually used in press or in any online publications. But then again, I don’t read the New York Post.

More interesting is the upsurge of people following – and, truth be told, expecting to profit from – the recession. Look at the larger law firms’ increase in email newsletters outlining the impact and effects of any of the proposed or passed legislation. Firms have established teams to address the “Financial Recovery,” the “Economic Crisis & Recovery,” and “Restructuring.” One has gone military with its “TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program) Task Force.” These teams, by the way, are comprised of cross-disciplinary practice groups, including banking, bankruptcy, finance, real estate, and government contracts (the assigned lawyers in which probably hadn’t previously met their new teammates).

Even in the hotel arena (you knew I would get there), consultants like me are trumpeting their new or recently reborn selves as providing “Hotel Asset Restructuring Services,” “Value Recovery Services” and “Distressed Hotel Advisory Services.” I have aligned – as the in-house hotel expert – with a group that provides and promotes its “Real Estate Solutions” across all real estate asset classes and types.

As we tumble down the road, hotels will begin to fail in greater numbers, not necessarily because the hotels themselves are bad, but because there is no debt to replace their financing. Then we will be doing “restructurings,” “value enhancements” and (this is my favorite) “readjustments.” In an informal study of Web sites, I have discovered that only one of my consulting colleagues actually uses the term that most of us use in day-to-day conversation: “workouts.”

Given the economy, each of the words is probably accurate, and Shakespeare had it right. Unfortunately, the aroma is not the bouquet of the rose, and there is not yet a Juliet to shed her light on the way forward.