Like Unicorns To Leprechauns

Nobody can accuse the big hotel companies of taking this recession sitting down. As if on cue, Marriott, Hilton and Starwood each announced generous loyalty promotions this week in a sort of high-stakes one-upmanship.

Hilton HHonors is offering double base points through April 6. Starwood Preferred Guest is touting 10,000 bonus Starpoints for every 10 nights stayed. And Marriott Rewards is not only bringing back its popular MegaBonus promotion, it’s also hopping on the double airline miles bandwagon. (1/9 update: Add Hyatt to the list.)

Which is all great news for consumers and smart marketing for the companies. But the whirlwind of points offers reminds me about the big issue that stuck in my craw as I was writing this month’s Global Update lead story on hotel loyalty programs—nobody actually knows what 2,500 Marriott Rewards points is really worth.

Oh, I know, each loyalty program has its own breakdown chart of point values. Some even directly compare across brands. And that’s fine.

But I can’t help but think back to this classic exchange on "The Office" (the U.S. version; sorry my British readers):

Dwight: Don’t you want to earn Schrute bucks?
Stanley: No. In fact, I’ll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.
Dwight: What’s the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns. 

What’s the ratio of HHonors points to Starpoints? Until the hotel industry can settle on something vaguely resembling a standard value across the brands, it may as well be the same as the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks.

But then, maybe that’s the point. If I’m already an IHG Priority Club Rewards member, I may not care enough to take the time to find out what a Hyatt Gold Passport point is worth, making me that much less likely to care about a Gold Passport offer.

Clever… but as a non-loyal consumer, darn frustrating.